kageisuke | Bleach Quickies : Potluck #1

This is the first of my two part post. The second one should be in a few days.

Character: Urahara/Renji
Prompt: pirate
Words: 162

He heard the 'step, plunk, step, plunk' of something moving down the hall. Renji turned around and ogled at the strangely dressed –more than usual- shop owner picking his way across the floor with a peg leg –Where's the *rest* of his leg go?- and boot.

"Avast yee matey~!" He said with a smile, adjusting fake parrot on his shoulder. Renji eyed him. "What are you?"

Renji suddenly got depressed. "Rukia put me in this prep-school outfit." He adjusted the leather gloves. He reached up to scratch his head and encountered the hat. He made a face.

Urahara looked up at it. "Such a nice hat~" he trailed off. "Fuck."

"Wh-What?"

"I tend to listen to what hats tell me, and yours says 'Fuck'." Urahara took a step forward, a menacing plunk resounded through the hall.

"Aa, aa wait! Urahara-san-"

"I spy some prime booty~! ♥"

All Renji could do was fall as the pirate pounced on him to made his claim.

Character: Urahara/Orihime
Prompt: candy
Words: 112

Orihime shuddered and tried to push down her hips. The voice above her 'tsked' softly and she gave a small whimper. "You're being a bad girl, Inoue-san, I told you not to move~!♥" She could see the little heart at the end of his sentences as his fingers tortured her.

"U-Urahara-san!" she squeaked as his other fingers tweaked a nipple.

He smiled gently down at her as his hat feel off his head and plopped down directly onto hers. When she moved it, she saw his hand come up to his mouth, finger dripping. She blushed. It intensified when he slid a tongue across the tips and grinned, "As sweet as candy."

Character: Renji/Lisa
Prompt: trick-or-treat, jack-o-lantern
Words: 177

Renji knew he was way to old to be doing this, but as he ran up to the next house, a warehouse to be precise, he really didn't care because he was having fun. Not every day you can dress up like some idiot and get free candy, so why not? He knocked on the large door. He waited a moment and it rolled upwards.

"Trick-or-" his mouth fell open as a pig-tailed girl with glasses looked out at him. Two pasties of pumpkins covered her nipples and he couldn't tear his eyes away to notice she was looking him up and down. "-Treat?" he said belatedly.

She smiled. "Aren't you a cute little boy?" she mused, smirk on her features as she looked down. "Don't look too little though."

Renji's mouth gaped.

"Reach into the jack-o-lantern for your treat," she smiled, pointing down.

"Jack-o-?" His eyes followed her finger and eyed the jack-o-lanterns adorning a pair of panties.

"Well?"

He smiled a little nervously as he reached forward. And *this* was why he loved strange holidays…