New beginnings...

Aaa, so much stuff I wanted to briefly talk about.

( Anita Blake )

Coming off of the Flirt book, the mini book, Hamilton starts to talk about how she does a mini story. A scene sticks in her head and sometimes it just won't get out of her head and she does it and everything comes out all the better for it. The little scenes I have in my head for my story that stalled are part of the reason why it's so hard for me to write a full book... that and I don't know how to end them. BUT that's neither here nor there. I think I'm going to do a side story I never would have been able to do in the full story anyway, since neither Blake nor Blaine are the main characters and it's only the results that matter in the main story. Even if I never actually DO include it in the main story, it'll be nice to just.... write and complete a story. It's been ages since I've done that when they weren't PWPs and, hey, the point of those is there IS no plot so there's nothing much to tie up in the first place.

Aaaand moving on to the more distressing news [to me] is that they're wrapping up the Census where I live. My CLA thinks they're collapsing my area into another one and we'll all be out of a job. Now, I knew it would happened eventually, as it was made perfectly clear to us that we're temporary. But since this IS government work, I totally expected it to last longer than it was supposed to, or at least not wrap up EARLY. So now I'm super pissed, because the reason why I wasn't able to make as much money as I should have been is because my current job fucked me over for hours. Those first three weeks turned out to be even more critical. I was hoping I could make it up, but no. I can't. The best I can hope is to transfer to another unit, but I'm doubting that. So, wonderful. I'm out of the hole, the time I had to try and figure out something else is past. I can't afford to not go back on the schedule 6 days a week when I don't have another income to at least balance it out. My life? Fuck it.

Speaking with my CLA has been a great boon for me though. He's the one who's given me all the ideas about an interest inventory to see what most interests me and all the other stuff that will hopefully be of help. Even if it isn't, at least he tried, I tried. Maybe something good'll come from it.

The last 5 days have been filled with 4-5 hour nights of sleep which just IS NOT ENOUGH for me. Since I didn't have a binder to work last night, I stayed out to read, went to the library, and then I got home and went to bed before 10pm. And it was glorious. Now I technically have today off, SO... I'm going to go fucking enjoy it B|

The problem with my being an artist is that I don't have the skill to properly draw some of the ideas I get in my mind. I need to take some serious life drawing classes. And get muscle structure right, and most of all perspective. If I had even the fledgling basics of perspective down, I would have more than a variety of standing and sitting poses in my sketchbook. What I actually need is a sketchbook FULL OF NAKED OUTLINES so that I can slap clothes on them. I always end up so focused on the face looking right that the rest of it ends up lacking.



Also, I don't like working with my boss at work. To me, a customer is a customer. If the Kitchen has a line of customers and I'm in the Deli with none and there's someone else there to cover, I wander over to the kitchen to help. I'm tired of getting reprimanded for having ONE person waiting in line at the Deli [oh, woe as fucking them] while there are 4 or 5 people in line at the kitchen. Yes, the Deli can take considerably longer to finish, and I understand why there are three of us optimally stationed there, but come on. Usually, I see the person waiting, finish my customer in the kitchen, then go over to help. But then I get the evil eye for making that person wait LESS THAN A MINUTE while I finish with the customer I was with. I'm sorry that I see a customer needing help over yonder and go to help them when NO ONE IS IN LINE AT THE DELI. Excuuuuse fucking me. I'll just stand and watch next time, and chew the fat with my co-worker. Then you can complain about that, too. FML

Nano starts tonight. I am nervous. I wonder why that is? Afraid of FAILURE perhaps.

I dozed off and on froma bout 6pm to 8pm last night. Fell asleep til 10:30 [missing CSI] then woke, turned off the tV and slep until about 6:30, and rolled for 30 minutes before rising for work.

It was a nice, calm day. I might stay up all night tonight getting a good head start. Who knows.



I think I'll write up what I have for Schwanz's history today and mix it with updating the Activity post for tomorrow. Friday's are boring at work, so I'll probably just be doing a bunch of filing so I at least look busy and can explain my lack of e-mails... because we know e-mails = work. Absolutely. ~_~

I've been made of uber flake as of late. Though it seems I'm the only one who thinks this.

I wonder why that is...?

Haven't felt like doing shit. Didn't even get online for like, 2 days anyway... I've been slowly poking my way back into LSG and need to just dive in, but I don't want to post and only have 2 hours a day to tag back... if I even feel like tagging. Just blah. I think this is the first time I've truly felt this is more like a hiatus than a semi-hiatus. If I disappear again for a few days, I've just not been feeling up to anything and didn't want to be bothered.

My last day at Wachovia will be the 6th of June... I have less than a month, thank kami-sama. My wrists hate me something fierce.

I start soccer the week after that, I believe. And I'll be going to the gym, too... or so I plan on, but who knows how that'll work out with my lazy ass...

HSCC regional competition is the 14th of June and I don't know if I'm going or teaching the class anyway. *sighs* March 31st is the Free day for Quixtar to get samples and shit, so I want to go to that. I honestly don't know what I want to do with Quixtar. At least make my money back, but I dislike being a salesmen and rather just buy stuff for myself and get some of my money back. The products are semi-expensive but they're good products. I need more detergent since my mother used up all of mine. 'It's really concentrated D8!' but proceeds to use more than the recommended amount anyway. I swear I only did laundry twice and it was all gone. =_=

I want to create a header. No time or creative energy. I want to app Itachi in an AU. No energy. I want to app an OC, but finding an RP for THAT is difficult without me even finding one I'd WANT to app in... and going in dry with no one there I know and doing an OC with absolutely no fandom is like begging for failure unless I'm hyper active like a bitch and I just don't have the motivation for that right now... urg...

Why is everything so blah? =_=;

Work is coming and going. Sometimes we're busy, other times we're not. We move between offices and I don't really care, about that, but when we run out of work, I just want to go home and sleep... then go to my other job.

Did my finances. I'm looking pretty good. As long as no unexpected bills come up...... and we know how they LOVE to pop up and eat your nest egg, I'll have 600 dollars for Ota, car insurance will be saved up for, a little bit of money in savings and my credit card payed down by half, hopefully. If I don't buy any books and put that money towards Ota, I should make it up even faster.

Even while I have two jobs, I feel that if I quit Wachovia, I won't be able to save up fast enough. Which is a pain in my ass because I planned on quitting in May or June. Maybe even make my last two weeks ending the week of Ota because I have vacation time then. If they say I can't, fuck them I'm taking it anyway. I'm going to be out of town Th-F and on Wednesday I'll have FIVE more people in my house and I'm not leaving them to the whims of my sister. My mother will probably stay in her room like STRANGE PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE GET OUT >/ but not really. She just doesn't want to 'get in the way' cus I rarely have people over.

And those fuckers still haven't published the second quarters payroll schedule. Lazy bastards.

On another note, I wish I had something else to work on, but alas....... not a damn thing. I put orders in for work today and was busy up until lunch. Then for 30 minutes after lunch... and not nothing. Ugh. A steady but light stream of work is preferred to jaksdfljalboredasshit.

Things seem to be moving in slow motion. Projects I've started are at a stand still, no inspiration. Just kinda, blah... especially where RPing is concerned. I think it depends on where I go though. So many things in the works. I think I'm going to be on semi-hiatus for a long time. Makes me feel better that I don't have to post. 8D I'll just tag wherever I feel like without the obligation of full play if I don't want to. Pfft, like I have time. If I don't take breaks during the day, I won't be caught up on RP shit anyway. =o=

Ugh. You suck life. Suck hard.

Even though I didn't get my hopes up too high, I was definitely wishing for the job I went on an interview for last week at the Data Center. Yeah, the pay kicked much ass compared to what I get now, but it really just seemed like an interesting job. It would have provided me with lots of experience and given me quite the padding to last for another month even if they didn't think I was right for the job. I'll call the guy back tomorrow to get the expected bad news. =o=

Then, yesterday, perhaps as some kid of bad omen, I was running late for work and was stuck behind some slow ass in the passing lane on the highway. Guy behind me was tailgating me a little and I was irritated as shit already and prepared to switch lanes to pass the guy ahead when I see those wonderful blue lights flashing. You know how you immediately look to your speedometer when you get pulled? I did. I was only going 70 in a 65 and I was like 'ajskdlajsfla' x fuckbillion cus that isn't even WORTH pulling over for, but I did.

And the cop passed right by me.

Obviously, he had somewhere to be and us lard-asses weren't going fast enough.

My first reaction isn't 'Whew, thank kami.' It's more of a 'You impatient asshole D<' because I was pulling over for nothing. Lucky I hopped right back on without losing much speed, but it still pisses me off. >/

Next on my agenda is a flat tire. Who the hell knows how long I've had it. Filling up my tire, I saw it had a nail in it. Thinking back on it, I bet I got that bitch in there when I was pulling over ont he side to let that cop pass. All sorts of shit flies over there from cars. That pisses me off even more, because the 20 bucks I have to spend to patch it is Christmas money. Gah.

Somebody just put me out of my misery and shoot me now.

I... I just...

Shoot me in the head please...

Just put me out of my PL/SQL misery... I've been working on this test for at least 3 hours and it's kicking my ASS... D:

Buuut, at least I finally figured out those songs that I liked and wanted to find the MP3s for. [Read: What Pan to find the MP3s for me]

Three Days Grace - "(I Hate) Everything About You"
Three Days Grace - "Animal I Have Become"

Funny thing is, there both by the same artist and I didn't even realize it... I'm such a loser...

And I haven't finished my thing for RPing yet, but am an even worse loser for being unable to stay on hiatus more than 3-4 days... I should stop cruising through sages and d_m, dammit... not to mention I have this drabble that's been half finished for more than 2 weeks. A DRABBLE. Not even a page long and I can't finish it...

<---- A.D.D.

I swear. I can't concentrate worth shit on anything! I don't even know if I'm going to bother with the counselor app or anything regarding CFUD for a while. I really just need to get myself together as I feel woefully unprepared for just about anything that's going to come down the pike any time soon. Except for car insurance. I DO at least have that much ready, partly because of Christmas money.

I ordered my Bleach Artbook and Ultimate Stars for the DS Christmas day. Or, more like 12:30AM on the 26th... they say it should arrive by the 21st or 23rd... of January...

D:!

Why the hell does it take that long! ::cries softly:: I should have just waited a month to order it then it would have gotten here for my Birthday! ::whines:: I wanna play it noooowwww~! I also went to Best Buy on the 26th to get the Escaflowne Perfect Collection like I'd been procrastinating doing for years... ::laughs:: I went to the bookstore and bought 10 manga...

...for 30 dollars... ::insert a cackle here:: I am the master of deals~! Seriously. I had a 10% off day, a coupon for 10 dollars, 35 dollars on my account, and it was buy 4 get the 5th free. ::snerk:: So I saved 18.98 for the two I got free, and it went from around 85, to 76 after my 10% off. I had a coupon for 10 bucks off if I spent more than 75 dollars so it went down to 66. Then I had 35 bucks in my account I could use before Jan. 31st and it went down to about 28 bucks. Don't ask about the math, cus I can't find the reciept and have no desire to dig for it. All I know is I made out like a bandit and I laugh... [I would make out more like one if I just bought japanese tankouban, but I can't read thema nd have no time/motivation to learn right now].

Oh, and Pan, can you leave a comment for the link to the thing with Mr. 'Buy-my-book' so I can give it to him and laugh royally at his horror? thanks! :D ::totally evil::

And now, I'm going to go clean the kitchen ad start on my room... I don't wanna go to work tonight... D:

No, nothing really relevent to post, just random youtube links.

Hero - I actually still occassionally get this song stuck in my head...

Zuko as Dane Cook [WATCH EET] - OMG... ::wheezing:: Soemtimes, Dane Cook isn't that funny, but for some reason, this one was hialrious... And I don't even care if the clips done mathc, just listen to it... OH YEAH

Horoscope for the day - Avatar as well, and thoroughly amusing for comedic timing if nothing else... :snerk::

Spiderman 2 : Avatar Trailer

Sokka really is stupid - Just in case you thought he wasn't as retarded as you know he is...

Yes, I did get bored and dissuaded before going to bed, STFU...

And another random bit of info, no matter what I try to do, something always gets in the way of me getting things done. First, it was AIM. Didn't get on, so no problem. Then, it was DA, LJ and others. Checked my messages, read the stuff, and done, still would have had at least 15 minutes to start.

Imouto called.

And there it goes, as in my time. She always calls when I need to get something done, and don't tell me 'Don't answer it' cus she'll just keep calling back and it's irritating as hell. I'm reluctant to tell her I'm getting my cellphone turned back on cus then she'll call me ALL the time. I'm going to have to set some ground rules if I ever want to get anything done ever again. I haven't even started on my redo of my counselor app. I should at least have my cannon done by now. Damn work, and I keep sleeping in the afternoons cus I'm so damn tired... this sucks... D:

Man, I have totally been slack on LJ recently... unless you count Sages, but meh... Speaking of which, the thread Ichigo and Saix had going from his first post is STILL going. I mean... it's been HOW long? Almost a month? 3 weeks at least, since it started when Manda left, and not only has it moved from Sages to the journal, it was moved on the 3rd [I think] and already has 60 comments, I think? Today's the 6th... D: Totally a loser... AND not only that, Saix is GONE and now Ichigo's talking to Xemonas, Ansem/Riku/whoever's nobody... Same mun on the other end, different character... ::excuse me while I laugh::

I have written NOTHING fanfic related in forever... I did a Grimmjow app for CFUD, and have another to work on, but I just feel blah when it comes to writing, though I have so many ideas... Not to mention my freakin' writing style for my app and my rp are so different [so says Roy, and I kinda agree] that it's hard to tell if I'd be a good RPer by how I write my app... Totally have to change it for my other one because I NEED to get in as a counselor... I swear I do... Who KNOWS when the next counselor apps'll be and if I'll even feel like doing it... I run hot and cold really quick...

And I wish I could go more than a few months without getting obsessed/really into/maniacle about a new show... I am TOTALLY on an Avatar kick... watching the show, AMVs [cus I can't find whole eps on youtube, and can they even be called AMVs? Technically, purists wouldn't call it anime... =_=], clips and god help me, fanfiction... Not the prony ones either... cus really, that would make me go 0.< instantly... I don't care if it's Zuko [16, right?] with anyone else older [and who the hell is older than him that couldn't be old enough to be his dad?] cus... gah... wrong... Katara's only what, 14? I can stand a falling in love story with some fluff, cus I can only stand so much of that anyway, but pron... god, no... just gah...

Anyway, I should really be finishing my JAVA test, cus, you know, I'm only halfway done and I have 15 minutes left... :D

::runs away::