kageisuke: (*hits with rolled up newspaper*)
This has been sitting in my e-mail forever and I never got around to finishing it but I'm going to put it up on DW ANYWAY so I can actually clear my inbox. SO THERE.

I was on plurk talking about original stories and my failings and decided to use my LJ for it instead. It's long-winded and I've said the same thing multiple times, but writing it out in long format might help me work things out instead of complaining about the same things over and over and never coming up with a solution.

The problem I have is that I'm decent at creating complete character relationships and interworking all the characters together so that one fallen domino of EMOTION causes the whole thing to explode. It's been a bit difficult to decide how a large group of friends from college interact with one another. Not everyone is as closely tied to all the people in the group, especially when it's large and not all personalities mesh well, but they form a group of people that get along relatively well. The group breaks up into smaller groups at will of people who get along the best and there's mingling between the smaller groups but not everyone does well without a person in the middle to drawl them together. I actually need to create a large chart of all the main characters and how they interact with one another and form cliques out of them. BUT ANYWAY.

The problem I have is that this is a story that is starting in the middle. The characters have known one another for years, and I had started writing it when the characters were in college. They were 18-22 for the duration of that story that I never finished and now it's ten years later and you see where they've gone. It's not hard to add flashbacks to explain some things, and you can always insert how characters feel for one another by how they interact. The real issue is figuring out WHAT happened during those years and how it effected the characters and their relationships with one another. They've floated in and out of each others lives since graduation, which was 10 years ago from where I plan on starting the story, so why are they all suddenly together again? What brought them all together again? Some have stayed together for various reasons -specifically a job with SPAWA and Renee's request for them to stay- but the others came back into the picture why? And more importantly, why did all of these college friends stay together again? There has to be a major plot that keeps them together so they don't drift off again. They're successful enough that it isn't the money that's a major factor that keeps them there.

So my important questions are: What important events happened in the past that shaped them? What event keeps all the characters together?

Putting my thoughts into one long blurb that will make due for a timeline [Lots of names that will make no sense to anyone but me] : Renee runs SPAWA and was groomed for it, so she's always been in the city. Manda and Tracy are Renee's friends and work normal jobs, though they will give her information if it pops up. She uses them to wind down and remind herself she's still 'human'. David was a recruiter at Caster College before he started working for SPAWA full time, and he was recruited by Itsuki, who still works at Caster doing the same thing. All of Renee's classmates stuck around for a while to do random jobs with and for her, but most floated away for varying amounts of time. Blake and Blaine came back first. Blaine went off for a year or more of globe hopping with Russell for training and fun. Blake was setting down roots and eventually wants to start a family. He has previous gang ties that keep coming back to bite him, so he begrudgingly asks for protection for Natalie and officially joins SPAWA when he realizes he can't do it on his own. Itsuki is Blaine's uncle and information broker to Russell, who met Blaine when he was younger. Blaine comes into the fold because it's kind of like the family business. David eventually abandons teaching at the school and acts kind of like a moral compass [hash that out later] and tactician with Blaine. He teaches recruits of SPAWA who weren't directly plucked from one of the neighboring colleges.

Kris and Schwanz both floated around doing odd jobs. Sometimes as a unit and other times solo. Neither are strictly in the employ of SPAWA, but a majority of Kris's tasks are for SPAWA. Kris is loyal to David and therefor SPAWA, but he does contract jobs on the side. Schwanz is strictly an enforcer and a wild card. He appears when he's needed and his loyalty is questionable. He stays on because he does things other people won't and hasn't betrayed any SPAWA secrets -that any of the others know of. Schwanz will defer to David or Renee if it pleases him, but the price has to be right and the job interesting. If he ever betrays them or gets too dangerous, Renee will try to have him killed before he kills her. Traine stayed the longest after everyone left, since he and Renee were kind of in a relationship. Once it 'ended' [they both ran out of time to pretend they were in one] he drifted off to other jobs. He came back periodically to return home and see family then dropped in on SPAWA to catch up with friends. Near the middle of the first plot [whatever that ends up being] he comes back in town for a visit or a job [not sure which] and eventually just ends up staying. He doesn't end up joining SPAWA right away [maybe not ever to avoid conflict of interesting? >_>] and he and Renee end up in a relationship again, but more relaxed and mature and it works for both of them. A kind of open relationship.

I've got characters I've made that I'm not sure what to do with, Craig and Thomas from school, and Marco who is another Org leader who I wanted to be a romantic interest for Renee [a failed one, as he has a motive and Renee won't let herself be used] and other characters like Drei and Rosetti who I haven't fleshed out properly because I have so many characters already and I don't know how big a part they would all play. I don't want to mire everything down in names that people will forget the significance of. Since I have characters now that are going to float in and out of the story who I had originally had there all the time, it might be easier to have more permanent characters.
kageisuke: (Failure is your only option 8D)
Awww yeah, it's been a long time since I've written in this journal, much less actually written a report on what I did during Otakon. I decided to do a bare bones review just because.

It starts Wednesday, when Cheza missed her flight >_> When she arrived we went to Sakura's for delicious Ten Don and finally to Dave & Buster's, which is only my second time going. I had fun there in ATL when I was younger, but a stand alone store is better and bigger, if you ask me. I probably won't go back unless someone else wants to go.

Thursday, we all gather at my house aaand naturally, Kevin forgot something at his house and so they were late. I don't know how it happens every year, but Pan and Kevin have some kind of delay and we don't leave on time. So the three cars filled with the people we had left at 10:45 instead of 10:30. The drive up was amazingly pain free. We somehow managed to get there in 2.5 hours. No delays of traffic, no getting turned around, no missed turns, it was kind of amazing.

So we get there, I check in aaand lol the person gave us the wrong rooms. I went in and suitcases and such were already in there. I called down using the room phone and turns out it was already someone elses 8D; So I got the keys for the right room and went up two floors. And then the keycard for the OTHER room didn't work when they brought them to me, so I had to go down and get the keycards redone. 8|

BUT everyone arrived and we went to the smoothie place AND IT'S CLOSED. I can't believe it I was looking forward to it SO MUCH and we saw the guy and apparently he went out of business? I don't know, but he was shutting down and I was like NOOOoooooo.

Then, after walking all that way, we went to the Matsuri that was open free to the public and it was boring and nothing really went on. We walked right through and went to Cheesecake factory to eat, even though the wait was like, 40 minutes. *sobs* [17$] My cousin missed her bus because of the storm and so instead of picking her up at 10:30 It was 12:30 and I was so tired. Ugh, I wanted to go to sleep so bad but I couldn't. I didn't go to bed until 2am and then the TV was on because Imouto and her mom and brother can't sleep without the TV on. *cries into my hands*

Next morning, I got up partially because the TV woke me up and because it was morning. I showered and got a smoothie and veggie breakfast panini [8$] before getting into the line for the Dealer's room. Of course, I wandered from door to door trying to get to it and they always close doors off and you have to go the most round about longest way to get to the damn thing. When I finally get there, I sit down for about 2 hours and polish off Rapture by Kate Lauren. When I get in, I FINALLY get IWGP Vol 4 that I've been looking for for ages and could never find until now, all of a sudden. I got it for [8$] and saw at least 1 other copy when before I couldn't ever find it. Life be trollin'. Then I found the 5 dollar manga table and got TsubaChron 23-26 and Blade of the Immortal 22 for [20$]. Then the buy 3 get the 4th free table I got Karin 9, 10, and 13, Your & My Secret 7 [36$]. Apparently Karin has limited quantity so it was 14.99. 8| I probably should have seen if 14 was that price, too, but I didn't and when I went back the next day to check it was gone .__.

So I finished up in the Dealer's room and went to the Angel's in Anime Panel at 2:30. Lol more waiting in line before that, so I got more reading done in Catching Fire. The panel was fun |D Informative. Angel Sanctuary was hilariously poked at. All is good. I go back tot he hotel room to eat the left overs from the Cheesecake factory and then I go and get in line for the AMV contest. There were some good ones and as always, not so good. I'll have to go watch them later on youtube 8D; I went to the game room -I think- and then went back to the hotel room. I was supposed to go to Anime's Craziest deaths, but lol I just laid down and didn't go back out 8D I went to sleep instead |D

I went to the Artist Alley Friday to get the Teahouse Comic Special Edition for Ch 3 but they were out, so Saturday morning I got up and got in line and was in there at 10am to make sure I got a copy 8D. Lol [50$] later I was the owner of a delicious special edition. Of course, I went looking for bookmarks and only found one [3$] Friday. Come Saturday, suddenly there were bookmarks everywhere. B| Maybe because it was so early in the day there weren't people to obscure them? Either way, I got 3 bookmarks [9$] to go with the one from Friday and the 3 cards [10$] I got that were original art. VERY pretty. I left there and went into the Dealer's room again and got 2 shirts because I forced myself to finally buy shirts. They were 18 a peice, but when I bought two they were 32, so I had to get two. I was like Damn you Laddiiieee and she was like 'LOL BUY MORE 8D'. So I got an Aoi no Exorcist shirt and then a Doctor Who shirt with the hashmarks on it. There were Otakon hoodies and Imouto got in line and got one for me [42&] so now I don't need to buy another hoodie XD;

After that, I went to the Great Anime Openings. So many openings, so little time. Some were a blast from the past. I do not know why I still remember the 1st Card Captor Sakura opening from HOW long ago? Imouto joined me at the panel and then we went back to the hotel room and waited until the restuarant opened at 5 to eat. I got pizza and a slice of cheesecake [20$] and missed the panel I was thinking of seeing at 6 because I was too lazy to walk back >_>; But we all went to the 'Morality in Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica' panel. Cheza put on her headphones to avert all the spoilers for the series because she wanted to see it first. She's sitting next to me now watching it ahahah I wanted to go to the Avatar panel after that, but it was cancelled, damnit. So I wandered around for a bit and finally ended up in the Game room. Played some PIU and my legs hate me. Then sat and played Dead or Alive 5 WHICH IS SO PRETTY and it was a demo but so... ugh I want it, but I don't have a XBox 360 and I'm not buying one for just one game.

After that, I went up and was going to wait in the Lupin panel for my Josei/Shoujo panel that was after it since there was no room clear, but just... no, I didn't feel like it, so I went to the Intro to KPop panel which was fun. So many groups though, it was crazy. Wild cheering nearly made me deaf when they intro'd some groups. After that, I went to 'The Art of Fanservice' panel, which was hilarious when comparing fanservice for guys and fanservice for girls. It was fun and I nearly died. Then I switched panels and read for Catching Fire before the Josei/Shoujo panel started. I was *really* tempted to go to the Type Moon panel, but I didn't even try. It was going to be packed, I knew it.

After that I was tired as hell and dragged back to the hotel. I was supposed to pack and take my suitcase downstairs, but just crawled into bed instead around 3 after booting out Kevin, Pan, and Aaron since they were on my bed. B| Stupid TV was on, so I still woke up earlish, but I should have left and put my stuff in the car faster. I was packed and was waiting for the others, but the elevators took forever because they were always full. >8| Eventually we got the car packed and did one last tour of the dealer's room and artist alley. Then we left around 12:40.

BUT OMG TRAFFIC. FUCKING TRAFFIC. I didn't get to my uncle's house to drop off my cousin until 4:30. So ricockulous. I had to take route 1 for 10 miles to skip around traffic, it pissed me off so bad T^T But I got fish! Yaaaaaaay. After that we got home and Cheza started watching Madoka /trollface

There were also issue in Pan/Kevin/Lacie's room that make me facepalm. I wish people would *tell* me shit, but nooo. Not until it's too late and so Lacie and her friends left at 12 on Saturday. /)_= Then there was one less person in the room than I had though so I had to collect MORE money from them because I don't have the money to eat the 60 dollar cost difference. It was actually more than that, but I went over there before I'd figured it out properly and couldn't think so got less money than I needed. 8| But alas. Whatever. Next year, I think I'm going to do it a bit differently. Lacie might not even come back, and if she does then she won't be in the room with an and Kevin. It's going to make it more expensive for all of us. /sighs; I still need to talk to them about it, because i'm not having this shit next year. You don't invite people you only barely know to a con. Especially if you know their personality might be sketchy and not mesh well with everyone else. I wonder if I'm going to have to start vetting people or something. WHY CAN'T WE ALL BE ADULTS.

But otherwise, the con was fun. I think I want to go to a con in Ohio, but the cost... ugh the cost. The hotel and pass won't be bad, but *getting* there is the problem. I'll have to figure something out. /flops around wildly

But until then, lol, running away from DW to do other things. Like Heckle Cheza while she watches Madoka 8D

Want List

Jul. 5th, 2012 02:01 am
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
A list of manga/CDs/books that I want:

Manga )

CDs )

Books )

DVDs )
kageisuke: (Failure is your only option 8D)
Well, nothing so dramatic as that.

I just really wish Traine Thompson's personality would solidify in my head instead of rolling around like a bag of cats.

And that I didn't suddenly get hit by a huge crush on the entire cast of Avengers. Seriously guys. Stop being such adorkably cuddly, derpy people of awesome.
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
It was silent except for the soft sounds of deep breathing. The kind of breathing that let you know someone was really asleep and not waiting for you to venture close enough so they could pop up and scare the shit out of you. Blaine was the type of person to do that, and Blake was standing close enough that if the man had wanted to, he could have grabbed him by now. But he was truly asleep, propped up in the corner of the L-shaped couch, looking relaxed and disarmed, but never quite innocent. Blaine was far from innocent and couldn't deceive someone in sleep like he could when awake. He stared down at him contemplating, truly and deeply thinking about, crawling onto the couch and flopping down on top of the man like the blonde had done so many times to him. Unceremoniously waking him and making himself comfortable wedged up against the body of his sleeping friend with little regard to if he made Blaine's position difficult as a result.

Blake let out a long, quiet sigh and turned his gaze away. If it was Natalie, he would slide to the end of the couch and put her legs in his lap, enjoying the proximity and warmth. Something in him couldn't extend this approach to Blaine. It seemed to be full body contact or nothing at all. Plastered to his side or an inch of separation miraculously maintained with no touches, accidental or otherwise. He stepped to the other end of the couch and quietly sank onto it, hardly making a sound and barely moving the furniture beneath him. He lay back, closed his eyes, and matched his breathing to the only other sound in the room and slept.

He was jostled awake by a body sliding up against him, lodging itself against him in much the same manner he had imagined himself doing earlier. A blonde head settled onto his stomach and the other side of the couch now lay vacant. He grunted in annoyance before he settled back down, arms sliding around the shoulders of the man using him as a body pillow. He sighed and Blaine echoed him, then they both went back to sleep. Full body contact or none at all. Nothing else would do.
kageisuke: Drawn by me; My OC Blaine Thorps (I mean; are you really that idiotic? ⌐_⌐)
Blake was exhausted. Walking through the door, loosening his tie, and kicking off his shoes was about all the preparation he could make before falling onto the couch and slumping to the side, crushing a pillow under the weight of his fatigue. It took about one minute of twisting to get comfortable before he was asleep.

He jerked awake as the couch moved and his hand was halfway to where his gun was not -and hadn't been for at least a week, but old habits- before he recognized the blonde head that was now making itself at home almost face down against his belly. His mouth twisted with annoyance and he thought about pushing the other man off, but in all likelihood they would both end up on the floor. The fact Blaine was laying face-down between his legs with his arms on either side made him distinctly uncomfortable. The reason for which was more because it didn't bother him that Blaine was invading his space like that than because he was invading it.

If Blaine was aware of the other man's mental quandary -of which Blake was sure he was and just gave no fucks about it- it didn't show. Hell, he was sure the man was already asleep now that he was comfortable. The arrogant bastard. He gave a sigh of resigned compliance and settled back against his pillow but found he didn't know where to put his hands. They'd come up in his surprise and now where they'd been resting was full of the golden-haired menace. He sighed again, more like a growl and pulled one hand up so it lay right above the head on his stomach and the other he buried into the thick hair on Blaine's head, gripping it and giving the man a little shake to show his irritation before getting comfortable and laying his hand across the broad back. The body against him jerked, then relaxed as the hand slid over his shoulders. Blake felt the soft puffs of warm air and the slight shaking of shoulders that indicated Blaine was laughing at him. The stupid prick. Then he took a deep breath and was asleep again.

That's how Natalie found them. Blake vaguely remembered a familiar clicking noise and it put a furrow in his brow because he was sure he didn't like what came at the end of those sounds. He didn't get a chance to figure out why he knew that sound and why he didn't like it before there was a squeal and a second later a heavy weight -heavier than whatever was in his lap- clambering all over him.

He jolted awake, half sitting up, hand reaching for the gun that still wasn't there looking around with bleary eyes. Blaine -oh right, that's what that weight was- had risen to one elbow and was likewise reaching for his totally not there gun while twisting to face the menace that had woken them.

Ian sat on Blaine's side and bounced up and down, totally oblivious to their confusion except that it was funny. And there was that clicking sound again and he realized it was the shutter on a camera and the surprised alarm on his face slowly melted into a deadpan stare that he leveled at his wife. Natalie was all grins as she clicked the shutter. Not only her, but Renee was standing beside her, the hand in front of her mouth not at all hiding her silent laughter.

Blaine had turned around and was holding Ian in his arms, tickling him mercilessly and barely avoiding the kicks as the boy dissolved into what must have been painful laughter. The blonde grabbed a leg and stood, holding Ian upside down and shaking him, to the delight of the three year old, before laying him back on the couch and into his father's lap. He shook his head and turned, giving Natalie a not so friendly look.

"That was cruel," the blonde said, walking over to them. All she did was hide the camera behind her back and beam at him. He held a hand out to Renee, who gave it a mild slap to which Blaine laughed and kept going. Probably off to the bathroom.

Ian bounced up and down on Blake's stomach, eliciting a huff from his father, who grabbed the squiggling child and kept him still before he got the air knocked out of him. "Park time! Park time! You promised!" he announced with glee.

Blake blinked and looked at his wife, then at Renee. He didn't remember promising 'park time' and it was likely Natalie had promised it for him. Last he knew was that he had to go with Renee as her backup to a meeting. "Uhh..." He got a slap to his chest. "Oof, okay okay, stop it now." Ian sulked and reiterated again that it was 'park time'.

"I'm taking Blaine with me. So you go enjoy your 'park time'," Renee said, looking at the boy with a smile.

"Auntie Renee!" Ian exclaimed, crawling off Blake, who winced at the sharp elbows and knees and ill-placed feet. "Come play, too!" He held his hands up.

Renee leaned down and picked him up obediently and set him on a hip. "Not today. I have work today. Maybe next time." He sighed and whined but then wriggled and she let him slide down to the floor again.

Blaine returned looking amazingly less rumpled than before. In fact, he hardly looked like he'd just slept on the couch. Blake wasn't ever sure how the man managed to do that. Renee and Blaine said their goodbyes with promises to come back and play. Blake watched with a slight smile. As Ian climbed into his lap again, he looked at his wife who was smiling at them and holding up the camera. He could only guess what kinds of horrible pictures she had taken while he'd been asleep, but he remembered quite fondly the one of him tickling his laughing son. Years later it was still a memory he cherished.
kageisuke: (*hits with rolled up newspaper*)
I've been thinking quite a bit about Renee and what kind of boss she would be, who she is as a person, and random traits and facts about her that are kind of disparate right now.

So many random things. )
kageisuke: (Failure is your only option 8D)
Renee turned her head to the side, and Traine watched her as she talked to someone he couldn't see. Her jaw moved and her neck flexed, creating pleasant lines that weren't helping his thoughts stay on track. Her hair had been getting longer steadily over the years. She would cut it less and less every time until it was long enough to pull up into some weird kind of bun held together with clips. It left her neck bare and the way she was turned only emphasized the length of it, the smoothness of it, and how undeniably feminine it was. She had transitioned from one of the soldiers in the trenches to their leader, but still got dirty -with relish- when it was called for. It happened less and less, her forays out to get directly involved with the wet work, and Traine could feel her changing to fit and grow into a role he didn't think she would be willing to leave.

He could say she had gotten softer, but that was only true in the looks department. She wasn't a chiseled mass of muscle like she had been straight out of college. Administrative work and making connections didn't lend itself to four plus hours of work out time along with the overtime an Organization like hers sometimes needed when shit hit the fan. Even so, she was fit, could still punch a man out, and had the endurance to outrun a lot of her own hitters. Traine didn't think her softer appearance could all be attributed to a lack of time. It was part strategy, as well. He knew her and all the dangers that came alongside, but when she came walking up in her 'little black dress' sporting curves that were enhanced by the addition of some extra fat, it hit him right in the gut. And lower. Bigger bust, wider hips, and his brain flew right out his ear. He wasn't the only man who'd been overcome by the package, but he also wasn't in charge of an Organization or a company she was negotiating with.

Her lips curled up in a slight smile and Traine watched that spark of fondness warm her face in an expression that he always found to be too brief now-a-days. Suddenly, there was an off-handed punch to his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his skin. The unconscious step forward he had been making turned into a step away from the direction of violence as his head whipped around to face his attacker.

Drei stood just inside his own incredible long reach, which was too far for Traine to hit him back even if he hadn't just moved further away. The taller man gave him a split seconds worth of an oblique glance before his attention was focused on the woman who had just finished her talk. Traine was still a bit startled, but he looked forward to see her eyes darting between them, curious about the exchange she had just missed but visibly blinking it aside and walking between them and ordering them to follow her. They did what they were told.

Feeling eyes boring into the side of his head he turned his head enough to see Drei staring, an eloquent look on his face. If it wasn't enough, he mouthed the word 'whipped' which got a raised lip from Traine in response. A non-verbal denial that was habitual and not anywhere close to being true. As he walked behind her and tried not to notice the sway of her hips, he thought that being whipped by Renee Sharps wasn't a bad thing at all.

It was the kind Drei's own father gave his mother sometimes, when he thought she wasn't looking. )

Trade List

Jan. 31st, 2012 02:07 am
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
Stuff that I have to trade:

List get )

[C] = Chinese Bootleg
[D] = English Domestic Version

Everything on here is for sale or trade if you have something I want. For Manga, 2 bucks a piece PLUS S&H and any paypal fees. For DVDs/CDs 5 bucks a piece plus S&H and paypal fees.


Jan. 31st, 2012 02:00 am
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
All feedback for purchases, trades, and sold items is here.
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
The room was dark, but they were close enough to be able to see one another clearly. Blaine held Blake's face in his hands, their foreheads touching as he stared across those scant inches into entirely too trusting eyes. Eyes that held worry and pain for him that the blonde may have needed but didn't want. He didn't think he deserved that look anymore.

His grip tightened but Blake didn't flinch, just stared, and Blaine spoke low, desperate. "You know there's something wrong with me. Ask Renee, please. She won't listen to my request."

There was a quick blink, but nothing changed in that handsome face. "I trust you-"

And Blaine closed his eyes and gripped him harder to stop himself from shaking him but couldn't stop the small sound of frustration. "Blake," and he let that pain and the lostness he felt trickle into his voice. If he did something to Blake, to Natalie, to Ian. He would never forgive himself. None of them understood that.

Hands came up to hold his and his grip loosened until it was only Blake's hands that kept them there. He stared at the man he loved like a brother, sometimes more than that, and wished he could convey all the danger he represented. Those trusting eyes looked at him and didn't see it and the blonde could feel himself already in mourning because he just didn't understand.

He closed his eyes and felt the soft kiss on his forehead. He let himself drop forward, resting his face in the crook of Blake's neck, holding the other man's hands and just breathing in slow. He missed Natalie, who had been standing in the doorway. He missed the look his friend and his wife exchanged, so much without words. He missed her sad smile and her acquiescent nod before she left on silent feet the way she had come minutes earlier. He missed it all but in the coming weeks as he continued to heal, their loving patience he would feel and cling to.
kageisuke: Drawn by me; My OC Blaine Thorps (I mean; are you really that idiotic? ⌐_⌐)
Did anyone ever know when feelings of friendship and caring turned to love? Blaine himself wasn't ever sure. He couldn't say he had felt 'love' very often. There was lust, of course. He was intimately equated with that emotion, after all. Familial love was just there, always. It was a fondness that never grew into the heat in your belly when you saw someone. Every time you saw them. That drove you to think about that person all the time. Blaine had crushes, but they were fleeting and gone and he was left to his own devices again. Nothing wrong with that, for him. He didn't want to get tied down. Sometimes though, it just catches you.

What drew him to Blake had been the need to instigate. To get under the dour man's skin and pick at him for his amusement and others. Inadvertently, he had drawn the raven haired man into their group as a result. He never fit in completely, but his presence was never shunned and their loose group of friends got along well enough that the man didn't have to be alone if he didn't want to be. Blake's tongue was sharp, and once his baleful glares subsided into merely annoyed looks, they bantered back and forth and he treasured those small quirky smiles he would get sometimes. They spent more time alone with one another than in a group, finding some random things in common and just enjoying each others company.

Blaine wondered if this was what it was like to have a brother. He had sisters, but he didn't curse at them and spar with them, not seriously anyway. His younger sister would sometimes come cuddle next to him, but Blake never did that. There was definitely a line between them that separated the touching. Blaine crossed it sometimes, but he'd get an absent minded smack of reprove in response. He'd just smile and then it would be done with.

The kiss... brought a lot of emotions forward that Blaine had been steadfast at ignoring. He cursed Craig for asking Blake 'Truth or Dare' for the millionth time that day. He cursed Blake for saying, finally, 'Dare' after he had refused to play for the past 30 minutes. He cursed that evil glint in Craig's eye as he grinned triumphantly and announced his dare with a theatric flare.

"I dare you to kiss Blaine. A real kiss."

The table erupted in laughter along with claims of faggotry, though they all knew Blaine wasn't going to be the one to mind. He was bi. Liked guys better even. But it wasn't for his benefit, more to discomfort Blake, who was 100% straight as far as any of them could tell. "Come on. You know he's not going to do that," Blaine had said with a laugh. Normally he'd be the one jeering them on, but some part deep inside him knew that being part of the joke hurt and seeing Blake wiping the kiss off afterwards and screwing up his face in disgust would hurt more.

Blake leaned away and the blonde started to say something like 'See?' but he stiffened as he felt an arm drape across his shoulder and his smile froze. "Blaine."

He turned his head and he wasn't sure what he thought he was supposed to see, but dark blue eyes were right there and lips were on his and he jerked with surprise but couldn't get away as a hand was at the back of his head, sliding into his hair and he gasped because it was the only thing he could do. And then there was a tongue just suddenly in his mouth and he made a noise and Blake was kissing him. Really kissing him, eyes dark and intense and not letting him back out of it because it was a DARE damnit. He only managed to kiss him back for a second before the hand in his hair tightened, pulled him back and he sucked in a breath and winced at the sharpness of it while Blake pulled away, his eyes knowing yet angry and already turning back forward to Craig across the table who was looking gleeful and scared at the same time. People were going to get whiplash, looking between him, Blake, and Craig, but Blaine would spare them having to choose because he could feel his face starting to burn with heat. He hadn't blushed in years and he bent forward burying his face into his arms until he could think again, breathe again, feel his face go back to normal and hear past the thudding of his pulse in his ears.

Craig regretted the dare a few minutes later, because Blake was a real bitch to have angry at you, but no one knew why he was so mad about it. Blaine wasn't sure either, but he had a feeling it was on his behalf. Regardless, it changed things for him after that. Hell, it probably changed things for both of them. Blake knew. Had known for a long time about those feelings, but he'd said nothing and gave no hints of knowing. Even after his behavior was the same. Blaine could admit to himself that he grew nervous, but after a while he grew... comfortable with it. He confessed. Blake knew and said so, but he never outright rejected him. Blaine wasn't ever sure what to make of that, but he didn't press. They were friends, and that mattered to him more than unconsummated love. Years later, he was more sure than ever it was not unrequited.
kageisuke: (щ(°Д°щ) ¡¿Por quuueee?!)
Wow, I haven't used LJ in... about three months. And my DW account even less so. I just hang around plurk all the time, and scuttle around the interwebz. School just started on monday so I am preparing myself. Pullin' up ma bootstraps. Guarding my loins. Not how that saying goes, I'm sure. And puttin' on ma fightin' panties. Or something. That being said, I wish I could say I had the motivation, organizational skills, and willpower required to go to work, keeping up with school, AND RP. But alas. I'm afraid after last semester, I don't think I can handle more than work and school.

I only had three classes last semester, and really only two at a time. One was a full 16 weeks and the others were 8 weeks each, one in the first half of the semester and the other the second half. I couldn't handle all the reading and just. Died. halfway through the semester. I dropped the other class and still only barely managed to keep up with the one class I had left. And I liked that class, too. I had tags sitting there for two months, it was so sad. So, unfortunately, knowing myself and how little much I can handle, I don't think I can, in good conscience, join another comm. I was planning on dropping DV simply because they were waffling and I got tired of nothing but sexy time threads. They're fun and all, but there's a lot more to Blaine's character that can't come out when it's his duty to get into your pants. I mean, he already thinks that, but giving him a *legitimate* reason for his dastardly behavior is just horrible for character development. e___e

So, no more RPs for now. Maybe halfway through the semester I can see where I am and maybe sneak one in, but I don't want to app and then instantly start failing. It kinda sucks because I don't want to come into a game 'late' when everyone I know has already been there. I want the rush for contacts and the come-upmanship that a broship creates and just... not for Blaine to be there last and rely on contacts already made like in DV. It's kinda hard to explain, but I'm sure someone somewhere gets it. Either way, because I fail at life, no games for me. But I guess I can stick around in meme. Maybe bring out hella old muses to have fun with... let's hope I don't just fail everything e___e


Oct. 24th, 2011 08:14 am
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Boobsquuuiiish!)
Thiiiis is alte, but:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] n3on_bandaid~!

So, uh.... anyone still on LJ? *has been gone for ages*
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (*squiggles* I'm told I do it a lot...⌐_⌐)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] contactcomfort~!

I hope it's fun and all your worries hold off for today!
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (*squiggles* I'm told I do it a lot...⌐_⌐)
Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] golden_rod~!

You are now old~
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (The face before I smack you like a bitch)
Oh, many failures abound. I believe that most of them do not belong to me, but effect me a lot. This is going to be about school and a new job.

First: School.

I have registered for classes, but I need to change two of them. I need 12 credits to make full time and not lose my grant money. Also so that I can defer my loans for school. I have to figure out WHICH to take though. So far I have 8 credits that I KNOW I'm going to take. And then I have to find a 4 credit so it's an even twelve so I have enough money without paying out. If I would do a 3 credit and then find a 1 credit diddly class just for shits and giggles I would, but gdi. Can't find them and I don't want to scour the whole catelog, and I can't search the database by how many credits the classes are. Bollocks.

Then I still have to make sure financial aid goes through, and I put in my transfers from my two colleges so I'm waiting to see what they're going to accept as credits. Hopefully at least the basics and the basic computer class. I refuse to take that shit again for 20 bucks only to fail because the tests are stupid. There are 5 different ways to do EVERYTHING in microsoft products, yet they only want you to do everything ONE way, and if you click wrong, penalized. I click all over the place when doing stuff, I'm not wasting 20 bucks to take a test I know I'll fail.

AND NOW WORK: Oh. LOL. The USPS is a piece of work. I knew this was going to happen. I put in for the job, and they called me back this past Tuesday? She asked how soon I could start, and I said I had to give two weeks to my current job and she said, no joke, verbatim, "We don't got that amount of time. We need people now." Holy shit. You want people to drop EVERYTHING and burn bridges for you. Okaaay. Long story short, she was R U D E. She said she'd call back that day or the next day. She didn't. Instead, my mother called me this morning telling me to get there before 10:30 so I can do medical stuff and all. I'm like ajskfja because not so much sleep, going to bed at 3 am and mother calls at 9am. Mostly because I was venting to Kris about the rude lady.

So I go up there, annoyed because there's a chance that Orientation is going to be Saturday and Monday. Really. WTF. How do you call people in on Thursday and then turn around to start them working Saturday? Even if it's orientation. That's why they have shitty people. Because the only ones who can get a job are a. people who have no job right now [for varying reasons, not all bad]; and, b. people willing to drop their other job with no notice; otherwise known as discourteous bastards.

It was only supposed to take ten minutes, but APPARENTLY I had to do the interview and such too because the medical stuff wasn't supposed to happen until after I got the interview and was going to be hired e___e WELP. So I did the med stuff and took my interview. But LOL I had work at 12:30 and had no idea I was going to be there from 10:20 until 12. They don't seem to realize I have other obligations. They want you to drop everything RIGHT THEN and bend over backwards. If you don't, they skip right over you and just take someone else. It's such bull.

But now, at least orientation isn't Saturday~ But it's still Mon-Wed, 8-12. Oh, joy! Still less than a week's notice. And the new schedule hasn't even been posted for next week. So I have to go in tomorrow and fucking scramble around to try and GIVE people my shifts or change shifts so I can make orientation, because if I don't, *skips right over* and then I'll be shit out of luck. The other job that I really want that's paid more is still calling people, and my score was shitty, so I'm way down on the list. I'm hoping already being in the system will give me a leg up.

Even if it doesn't, if I can hack this 40+ hour a week job AND school I'll be able to get ahead on bills and have a nice nest egg. But I'm still kinda mad, because the way they're talking, I'm going to have orientation Mon-Wed, and they might ask me to go in to work WEDNESDAY NIGHT. I'm so pissed! It's bad enough that I can't go to Otakon now. But I can't even spend that night with everyone to joke around before they all head up. And then Cheza is still going to be in town until Wednesday, so I have to spend time with her, but I just. Don't know how I'm going to work this and still sleep. *cries*

My life. Full of fail. But at least I'll be able to pay Pan back for registering for me for the past two years >_>
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (FUCKING MADAGASCAR DDDD<)

OTAKON. Who on my f-list [lj only people] are coming and going to be in my room? My calculations are 7 people right now, but a few maybes.


SCHOOL. I have applied, spoke with my counselor. I skipped... a few steps I think. .__. I have to speak with the transfer specialist, and then probably financial aid. I have grant money to use, but I don't know how the hell all of this stuff works. I know I need the money to pay for classes and the books and all, but I'm hoping I'll have some left over. I'm kind of doubting it. BUT going back into school on a full time basis WOULD delay my student loans. Which is a major part of why I can't ever catch up. 200 bucks going towards that every month.

Even if I only go full time one semester [fall] I would still have 6 months after that before they start again. And by that time, I'll have paid off one of my loans, and if I do it right, possibly my car, too. That would be such a load off. But then all the money would just go to my mother, who I... haven't really been paying all of my rent to since I moved in. ⌐_⌐ I have a roommate now, finally, a co-worker who's nice |D and it's amazingly helpful for my mother to have someone who is actually PAYING to stay in the house. But then the AC blew up. So she's still in the hole paying for that. It's like Murphy's Law decided to target us specifically.

And, of course, I don't know which courses I want to take. I have been looking at the Networking Fundamentals, because I thought to myself that maybe that's what I should have done. It has more hands on work and not just staring at the computer all day. Probably. It's a certificate and not a degree, but based on it I can get my A+ cert later, which I should have had ages ago, and yet 8|a

But then there's WELDING. I don't know why that's stuck in my head, but I kind of want to go for it. It's also just a certificate, but I figure I could get it in two semesters as extra classes to take. Problem is, it's at another campus. It's a good clip away, but I believe some classes are at the campus closest to me. If I'm lucky, it's the ones that are the fundamentals that I need to take first that are over here, so I can figure out whether to power on or just drop it. At least with the networking stuff it's all over here. If I like the classes, I can jump right into the associates while trying to find a service desk job or something. I thought about a bachelors, but computer science is a lot of math and programming and that's why I didn't want to do web design. The programming part that is. Eventually I will probably have to get a bachelors in SOMETHING so that I can get higher paying jobs, but I'm just happy to have some kind of plan.

I haven't told my mother anything either, because then she'll act all happy and if I drop the ball her disappointment will crush me. ;__;


Work. Not getting enough pay, as usual. Not enough hours, but I don't really want more. I'm hoping to get a call for that post office job at the end of this month, but who knows. If I do, then I'll have that, my current job, and school. I don't know how that'll work, but I have to give it a shot. If all else fails, I'll have to drop down from my current job to one day a week or something. I just need to keep it because I DEMAND to get my vacation week. I would also like to keep my insurance, but pft. Who knows.
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (...THIS... is how I roll)
New TV schedule, just for my reverence, because I keep FORGETTING what I'm watching. I just... turn on my TV at 10pm and turn to USA to see what show is coming on. Anything that comes on 9 I don't even try to watch, because I might be at work. I like Burn Notice, but it comes on tonight at 9 and... they have marathons of that shit a lot, so that's when I'll watch it.

Mon | 10 PM | Teen Wolf | MTV *still kinda ashamed*
Tues | 10 PM | Covert Affairs | USA
Wed | 10 PM | Necessary Roughness | BBC

*Note: I've kinda given up on The Tudors because I missed a week. Went to watch the rerun at 9 one night, and they were showing a marathon of something else. And I don't feel like going downstairs to watch it when everything else I watch I can do upstairs in my room and stay on my computer during commercial breaks. I'll rent it. B|

Thur | 10 PM | Suits | USA
Sun | 10 PM | The Glades | A&E

I watch way too much TV during the summer. B|

AND TORCHWOOD IS STARTING UP WITHIN THE NEXT 30 DAYS. I have to figure out when that happens. I wish it started sooner, because watch it happen on Otakon weekend. And then I don't want it to clash with Doctor Who starting up in Autumn... I heard the first three episodes are kind of slow, but that's okay |D

And True Blood has started! But I don't have HBO so I'm just going to wait it out and hope I get no spoilers.


kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)

September 2012



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