Jan. 30th, 2012

kageisuke: Drawn by me; My OC Blaine Thorps (I mean; are you really that idiotic? ⌐_⌐)
Did anyone ever know when feelings of friendship and caring turned to love? Blaine himself wasn't ever sure. He couldn't say he had felt 'love' very often. There was lust, of course. He was intimately equated with that emotion, after all. Familial love was just there, always. It was a fondness that never grew into the heat in your belly when you saw someone. Every time you saw them. That drove you to think about that person all the time. Blaine had crushes, but they were fleeting and gone and he was left to his own devices again. Nothing wrong with that, for him. He didn't want to get tied down. Sometimes though, it just catches you.

What drew him to Blake had been the need to instigate. To get under the dour man's skin and pick at him for his amusement and others. Inadvertently, he had drawn the raven haired man into their group as a result. He never fit in completely, but his presence was never shunned and their loose group of friends got along well enough that the man didn't have to be alone if he didn't want to be. Blake's tongue was sharp, and once his baleful glares subsided into merely annoyed looks, they bantered back and forth and he treasured those small quirky smiles he would get sometimes. They spent more time alone with one another than in a group, finding some random things in common and just enjoying each others company.

Blaine wondered if this was what it was like to have a brother. He had sisters, but he didn't curse at them and spar with them, not seriously anyway. His younger sister would sometimes come cuddle next to him, but Blake never did that. There was definitely a line between them that separated the touching. Blaine crossed it sometimes, but he'd get an absent minded smack of reprove in response. He'd just smile and then it would be done with.

The kiss... brought a lot of emotions forward that Blaine had been steadfast at ignoring. He cursed Craig for asking Blake 'Truth or Dare' for the millionth time that day. He cursed Blake for saying, finally, 'Dare' after he had refused to play for the past 30 minutes. He cursed that evil glint in Craig's eye as he grinned triumphantly and announced his dare with a theatric flare.

"I dare you to kiss Blaine. A real kiss."

The table erupted in laughter along with claims of faggotry, though they all knew Blaine wasn't going to be the one to mind. He was bi. Liked guys better even. But it wasn't for his benefit, more to discomfort Blake, who was 100% straight as far as any of them could tell. "Come on. You know he's not going to do that," Blaine had said with a laugh. Normally he'd be the one jeering them on, but some part deep inside him knew that being part of the joke hurt and seeing Blake wiping the kiss off afterwards and screwing up his face in disgust would hurt more.

Blake leaned away and the blonde started to say something like 'See?' but he stiffened as he felt an arm drape across his shoulder and his smile froze. "Blaine."

He turned his head and he wasn't sure what he thought he was supposed to see, but dark blue eyes were right there and lips were on his and he jerked with surprise but couldn't get away as a hand was at the back of his head, sliding into his hair and he gasped because it was the only thing he could do. And then there was a tongue just suddenly in his mouth and he made a noise and Blake was kissing him. Really kissing him, eyes dark and intense and not letting him back out of it because it was a DARE damnit. He only managed to kiss him back for a second before the hand in his hair tightened, pulled him back and he sucked in a breath and winced at the sharpness of it while Blake pulled away, his eyes knowing yet angry and already turning back forward to Craig across the table who was looking gleeful and scared at the same time. People were going to get whiplash, looking between him, Blake, and Craig, but Blaine would spare them having to choose because he could feel his face starting to burn with heat. He hadn't blushed in years and he bent forward burying his face into his arms until he could think again, breathe again, feel his face go back to normal and hear past the thudding of his pulse in his ears.

Craig regretted the dare a few minutes later, because Blake was a real bitch to have angry at you, but no one knew why he was so mad about it. Blaine wasn't sure either, but he had a feeling it was on his behalf. Regardless, it changed things for him after that. Hell, it probably changed things for both of them. Blake knew. Had known for a long time about those feelings, but he'd said nothing and gave no hints of knowing. Even after his behavior was the same. Blaine could admit to himself that he grew nervous, but after a while he grew... comfortable with it. He confessed. Blake knew and said so, but he never outright rejected him. Blaine wasn't ever sure what to make of that, but he didn't press. They were friends, and that mattered to him more than unconsummated love. Years later, he was more sure than ever it was not unrequited.
kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)
The room was dark, but they were close enough to be able to see one another clearly. Blaine held Blake's face in his hands, their foreheads touching as he stared across those scant inches into entirely too trusting eyes. Eyes that held worry and pain for him that the blonde may have needed but didn't want. He didn't think he deserved that look anymore.

His grip tightened but Blake didn't flinch, just stared, and Blaine spoke low, desperate. "You know there's something wrong with me. Ask Renee, please. She won't listen to my request."

There was a quick blink, but nothing changed in that handsome face. "I trust you-"

And Blaine closed his eyes and gripped him harder to stop himself from shaking him but couldn't stop the small sound of frustration. "Blake," and he let that pain and the lostness he felt trickle into his voice. If he did something to Blake, to Natalie, to Ian. He would never forgive himself. None of them understood that.

Hands came up to hold his and his grip loosened until it was only Blake's hands that kept them there. He stared at the man he loved like a brother, sometimes more than that, and wished he could convey all the danger he represented. Those trusting eyes looked at him and didn't see it and the blonde could feel himself already in mourning because he just didn't understand.

He closed his eyes and felt the soft kiss on his forehead. He let himself drop forward, resting his face in the crook of Blake's neck, holding the other man's hands and just breathing in slow. He missed Natalie, who had been standing in the doorway. He missed the look his friend and his wife exchanged, so much without words. He missed her sad smile and her acquiescent nod before she left on silent feet the way she had come minutes earlier. He missed it all but in the coming weeks as he continued to heal, their loving patience he would feel and cling to.


kageisuke: Mitani from Hikaru no Go (Default)

September 2012


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